If possible, briefly describe the nominee's position and general job responsibilities.
This is OK ...
(Nominee) is the Fiscal Officer for Central HR.
But this is better ...
(Nominee) is the Fiscal Officer for Central HR; she is responsible for maintaining the entire budget for central HR, in addition to working with multiple teams and units in the dept on their internal budgets. She oversees the administrative team that is responsible for all of the daily transactions and accounting for the department, as well as general logistics of HR, such as parking changes, space allocation, and office and computer set-up.
Why is the individual or team's contribution/achievement significant and deserving of recognition?
This is OK ...
This team, and everyone on it, worked extremely hard to realize the project.
But this is better ...
This team deserves recognition for their forward thinking approach in the midst of project managing and a tight deadline. Not content to follow conventional thinking that said otherwise, the team not only met their target goals, but also increased the cost effectiveness of the program, and included employee education and stakeholder engagement in their larger goals.
How were innovations and/or solutions identified, developed, and implemented?
This is OK ...
The system we had was not working, and (the nominee) was a key figure in reaching a better solution.
But this is better ...
(The nominee) realized that the current method, both of transporting and analyzing data, was inefficient and far too complex. She initiated a review of the present system and proposed a more efficient one. Her analysis and proposal helped to specify and establish how the new system should function, and she continues to maintain the improved system.
How are these steps beyond the normal requirements of the nominee's job?
This is OK ...
It is the job of (he nominee) to keep the staff current with financial procedures, but he just helps the team to work better.
But this is better ...
(The nominee) keeps the staff up to date about current financial systems and processes and has developed training materials to keep the skill-level high. This helps the department run smoother, but additionally he spends many hours providing training and one-on-one guidance that ensure staff have confidence in their abilities, and he reinforces the importance of their work.
How does the community benefit? (Note that "community" may include staff, faculty, students, MIT, Cambridge, national and/or global)
This is OK ...
(The nominee) is a great guy; everyone in our department loves him!
But this is better ...
The large and small actions, and the continued interest in day to day operations by (the nominee) have brought us together and motivated us as a group. We can keep the mission of our department in mind and focus on the clients we serve, students, faculty and the larger academic community.
How did the contribution/achievement enhance diversity, foster an employee's professional development, and/or promote work/life balance?
This is OK ...
I know that (the nominee) will encourage my growth at MIT.
But this is better ...
The work of (the nominee) and his ethics around it, have meant greater industry recognition of the work that MIT is doing in this field. It means more opportunities for staff to represent MIT in pilot programs, and (the nominee) encourages us to take on larger roles or to present our work at conferences.